Lance Christopher: Blog

The driver's door of my beat up, banana yellow Honda, opened to the groan of fatiguing metal.

 

"Holy Spirit, I really hope I am hearing You."

 

With a sigh, I leaned in, pushed the shifter into neutral, turned the key to the on position, and thanked God that I had a clear path of at least fifty feet ahead of me.

 

"Lord, if this is just my imagination, please just let me know. I feel like an idiot. Huh... Big deal, right?"

 

Then like some overweight, Olympic bob sled team reject, I took two deep breaths and channeled all my strength into two knocked knees.

 

It was a good thing that the midget car was light.

 

Ten intense strides. . . A precise leap into the driver's seat. . . Clutch down. . . Second gear. . . Pop the clutch. . . Slam the door. . . Give her gas. . . Dear God, don't hit anyone or anything. . . Breathe again. . . Down the road I go!

 

Three months with a broke starter and I was certainly practiced.

 

Long years of being broke, and I was resigned to the fact that it might be awhile until it was fixed.

 

The whole Flintstone-manual-foot-powered-start "thing" was beginning to feel like Heaven's antidote to pride.

 

"Not entirely a bad situation." I mused.

 

The drab winter sun exposed the tired face of my adopted city.

 

Like a Madame well past her youth, yesterday's makeup smeared from an un-naturally deep sleep, Reno grimaced in the afternoon light.

 

"Turn right." Like all the times before, the voice in my head was clear and concise.

 

"Now, go straight. . . Yes, turn left at the signal." Insistently the directions were given, and I dutifully obeyed.

 

Turn after turn, mile after mile.

 

"Lord, why is this happening? I hear what I hear. I pray that it is You. But I do not understand."

 

Forty minutes down the road, and the voice spoke, "Now son, stop here."

 

This was a familiar drill.

 

I did as the voice directed, put the car in neutral, pulled the parking brake and stepped out into the chill air.

 

In the distance the mountains were beautiful, clad like a bride in snow white splendor.

 

Inside, I was as empty and barren as the desert under my feet.

 

I listened intently within and without.

 

Enveloped in solitude, not even the breeze sounded.

 

The voice was as silent as the dirtscape around me.

 

I grumbled, "This is crazy.Holy Spirit, I don't even know if this is You. Every time it is the same thing. I do what I hear. Get in the car. Randomly drive all over the area. End up in some 'whatever' place. Lots of silence. Hang out. Time drags. More silence. Go home. Feel frustrated. Grouch at Michelle and the kids. Hang my head. Preach another victorious sermon. Tell my congregation how awesome it is to lead a Spirit led life. . . Yep, how cool is that?"

 

Making my way back to interstate 80 and home, I prayed in tongues.

 

Questions and doubts buffeted my heart.

 

I had been blessed to experience God in many astounding ways from my salvation on, but I wanted more of Him.

 

Praying, fasting, studying, and accountability to other Believers were principles well established in my life, but still I hungered for a deeper walk - an infinite intimacy - with God.

 

I desperately wanted to more clearly discern His voice and heart.

 

Yet this latest experiment - if one could call it that - felt like an extreme exercise in futility and foolishness.

 

I would share my heart with my wife, Michelle, and she was always sweet and sympathetic, but these seemingly pointless drives around the area were creating some genuine uncertainties.

 

Several months passed with more of the same.

 

One morning, as I prepared to go to the church office, a hard knock blistered the door.

 

We quickly answered and found a young woman with tears streaming down her cheeks.

 

Eyes large and desperate, she stood shaking on our step.

 

Her baby was fussing on her hip, and she looked as shattered as anyone I had ever seen.

 

She was an active member of our congregation and we had known her and her young husband for some years.

 

We brought her in and asked her what had happened.

 

She shared how she and her husband had been having more difficulties.

 

He had been saved out of some very dark circumstances and still wrestled with issues from his past.

 

The night before, he had lost it and committed some heart wrenching sins.

 

Leaving in a rage and demonic haze, he had driven off into the night.

 

She then played a phone message for us in which there were demonic voices and threats manifesting through him.

 

The evil was intense and sobering.

 

We were left with a fear that suicide was a real concern.

 

Hitting our knees, we began praying earnestly there in our home.

 

Then it happened.

 

The familiar voice said, "Get in your car."

 

I thought, "No not now. . . This dear family needs our prayers and comfort."

 

The command was repeated.

 

I quietly said to those interceding, "I believe God just told me to get in my car. I don't know what it all means, but I have to obey. Please pray that God will guide me."

 

Feeling awkward, I left without looking back. .

 

As always the directions were very precise and detailed, and after about fifteen minutes, I found myself on the opposite side of town entering an unfamiliar industrial area.

 

The voice continued, "Slow down. . . Turn right at the light. . . Merge into the left lane. . ."

 

There, one car ahead of me, was an old pickup I knew well, and driving it was the young man for whom we had been praying.

 

I was so amazed that it took a moment to grasp what had happened.

 

Hearing, "Stay back and simply follow him.", I could not help but begin to praise God.

 

I marveled at the fact that there in front of me was the most remarkable answer to my questions and nagging doubts.

 

Knowledge filled my soul.

 

All those seemingly random excursions, and pointless outings, had in truth, been practice runs.

 

Holy Spirit led exercises to prepare me for this moment of critical need.

 

Practical, "hands on" teaching by God Himself, so that the Good Shepherd could direct me on this day at this time to one of His lost lambs.

 

I now had the privilege of partnering with the Good Shepherd in leaving the ninety nine to find the precious one!

 

As the young man drove out of the industrial area, I followed with rejoicing in my heart.

 

Then brake lights lit up and he pulled over and parked.

 

A small creek choked with aspen and thick brush ran nearby.

 

I thought for sure he would see me as I continued past him, but his attention was on the water.

 

Continuing around a bend, I too, pulled over.

 

Quickly exiting my car, I made my way back to where he had stopped.

 

He had left his truck with the keys still in the ignition, and I felt strongly to wait for him.

 

The first evidence of the coming spring colored the aspen and sage brush.

 

The scent of fresh water and new growth lent an invigorating zest to a fickle breeze.

 

With a smile, I sighed in anticipation of what I believed God was about to do.

 

A few minutes later, he walked up from the creek below.

 

Suddenly, he saw me and froze in his tracks.

 

Shock, irritation, and more than a little confusion registered painfully on his face.

 

I waited and watched.

 

He finally approached looking sullen and apprehensive.

 

At first, he refused to make eye contact.

 

I then shared with him all that had happened.

 

How God loved him so much that he would miraculously lead someone to his exact location.

 

How, obviously, it is impossible to hide from God and His love.

 

How his wife, and my family were praying for him.

 

How he could be forgiven and the lies of the enemy could be silenced.

 

How he was not hopeless and he had not gone "too far", for the truth was that God and all of us were waiting to embrace him and restore him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Indeed, though it was difficult and took time, he was fully restored and years later he is faithfully serving the Lord.

 

He and his wife have many wonderful children who also love the Lord, and they are all vibrant, outspoken witnesses of God's grace and love.

 

I pray that this simple testimony might serve to encourage you in your adventure walk into the place of "infinite intimacy" with God.

 

I have found that the "pat answers" are not enough, if one really wants to touch God's heart.

 

Of course, the foundational principles of prayer, fasting, Bible study, and accountability to other Believers in authentic Christian community can not be over-emphasized, but the courage to humbly allow the Holy Spirit to stretch you outside your comfort zone, is never to be despised.

 

The Kingdom of Heaven really is for the child-like!

 

So. . . Allow the wonder, the joy of discovery, the simplicity of heart, and yes, even the pain of mistakes, to propel you ever closer to oneness with God.

 

Hey, be patient with God and yourself!

 

Remember, the greatest gift you can ever give to the people around you is for you, yourself, to be one with God, for then, you become a glorious conduit of His loving will.

 

It will then flow through you to a world that desperately needs Him and the gifts only He can give!

 

Here's to hanging out in God's heart